Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Feeling Apprehensive (OOTD)

I have hit my month countdown to my move and that milestone has been a bit rough for me. All of a sudden I started to focus on all the people and things I'd be leaving here and it got hard to believe I was voluntarily launching myself into a situation with no friends, no job, no direction and no real purpose behind it. This led to a stronger re-occurrence of my depression than I have felt in many months, which further fed my fears that I'd collapse into a quivering heap of depressed sadness upon arrival in Brisbane.

However, I have rallied! A Facebook post complaining about my depression resulted in several friends showering me with love and support and knowing that I have people rooting for me really helps. So I'm back to being mostly positive with a bit of grumpiness that I have to do crappy things like apply for jobs (or rather find jobs to apply for) and sell my clothes online.

I haven't been taking outfit photos because in an attempt to save money I haven't been going out at all except for work and rock climbing, both of which require rather specific outfits that aren't particularly interesting to photograph. I do have some photos of events and a backlog of photos, however, so I will chuck them up.

These photos are all from my friend's mother's steampunk birthday party. I didn't have anything steampunk to wear except a necklace said friend made for me, but there were extras that I could wear.

The birthday girl looking smashing

My crazy friend

Bathroom selfie!

Terrible, terrible mirror selfie in an attempt to capture my steampunkifiedness

Monday, 5 January 2015

22 before 23

It is the accepted practice around the new year to look back over the old year and look forward to the new. That's not really my thing, but I am making a pretty big change soon so I have been thinking about the future. Some time ago I came across the idea of doing yearly goals in the pattern of number of current age before I reach my next age. I started off with doing 21 before 22 and then quite late into my 22nd year also did my 22 before 23. And then never posted them - or even finished them.

I'm now only four months away from my 24th birthday, so obviously posting my 22 before 23 is a little late. However, my impending move to Australia has me cooking up all kinds of goals before then. Some of these goals really do have to be achieved before I move, like get a job and a place to live; others are smaller, optional goals like practice hanging out with strangers and tramp as much as possible before I go.

I think I will formalize those goals to help give me some sense of organisation. It will help stave off the panic that is now always lurking, waiting for my rationality to depart so it can suggest that I will never get a job and will have to live on the streets and so on. Those goals should come within the next couple of days and in preparation I thought I'd go back over those ill-fated 22 before 23 and see if I actually achieved any of them.

1. As you can see, I somehow managed to miss out on having a first goal. Good job, Emma.
2. Nope, this didn't happen. It is still a goal and it will happen one day. Passive income, here I come.
3. Well, I did do swing classes at some point before I turned 23. I don't think I did any after I turned 23. I really should have, as I enjoyed it. Curse you, shyness!
4. Managed all of these! Hooray, friends!
5. Nope, no organisation. Also not planning to do this in future.
6. Again, no future plans for this.
7. Well, I kind of found sandals (although I was 23 at the time, shh) and then concluded that I just shouldn't wear sandals.
8. This did not happen. I managed once. This goal will pop up again.
9. Also didn't happen, sadly :( And also going to have this goal again.
10. I don't have a sewing pile any more, so I believe I did actually do this at some point.
11. Slowly but surely this gets chipped away - at about the same rate that water visibly erodes stone.
12. I've lost track of all the presents I'm supposed to have bought this boy.
13. Yeah...no. I even had a friend demand that I finish it, but I'm stuck.
14. I think it was probably after I turned 23 that I really began to actually enjoy being single, but I certainly made progress in that direction.
15. This is an ongoing goal that will undoubtedly remain partially incomplete forever, but I think I made some progress.
16. Yeah.....no.
17. Also, no. I dunno about before I turned 23 but right now I'm the biggest I have ever been and am frustrated at my lack of fitting into my favourite clothes.
18. Yes, this happened and continues to happen. My depression is well and truly under control right now.
19. Funny thing...I got really angry at God and didn't want to know Zir so I can say this definitely didn't happen. Not sure if it's a goal again yet either.
20. I have no idea if I achieved this goal or not.
21. I probably achieved this goal. I still watch Doctor Who every few weeks or so.
22. Irregularly is the name of the game, friends. I'm still here though and I pledge to keep on going.

Well, there we have it. I achieved about...9 of my 22 goals. Still, better than none! I'm far too changeable to have a bucket list, so I find that this is a pretty good way to keep my life kind of goal-oriented. Even a year is a long time for my flighty wishes though :D

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Yuletide Joy

Ah, Christians. Nothing like stealing other religions' rituals in order to force them into Christianity for warming the heart.

I like to spend my Christmas knowing that the "reason for the season" is different for everyone and that for some people the "season" is no more than summer (or winter for you poor, cold northerners). Whatever the reason was for your celebration (or lack thereof) these past few days I hope you had a great time, like I did.

I usually have nice Christmases. They're not ground breaking: gifts is not one of my love languages so I'm not wild about the gift giving and receiving this time of year and I live with my immediate family and in a different country to my extended family, so the people I see on Christmas day are the same people I see the other 364 days of the year. That does not make it unimportant, however, because I can understand how blessed I am to have a family who love each other so much as to be together every day anyway.

We had our present opening in the morning, a few hours later than when we were kids because Christmas is no longer exciting enough to wake up at 7am when you fall asleep at 3am. After presents we played Trivial Pursuit, which I was pretty poor at. Then we got our lunch ready and scarfed that down. My brother had to head back home for his flat Christmas at 3pm, so he left and I taught my mother and youngest brother how to play Cluedo. Mum then asked me to gather raspberries for her trifle so I spent some time getting scratched and enjoying the sun gathering them and then decided to take outfit photos there while the others left to have dinner with family friends. My outfit photos frustrated me mightily, because I felt like I looked great but didn't think my photos reflected that. It was too nice a day for it to bother me for too long, however, so I packed up and also drove up to the family friends' place, where we finished the day with yummy dessert and taking photos of the family with various cameras.

Here are some highlights of the day (warning, lots of photos!):

Our Christmas tree

Mitten the kitten's homemade climbing tree

Jabin, our designated present giver

My Police Box scarf!

Mitten, the evil Christmas kitten

My Christmas haul (may have received more - if I didn't take a photo of it I forgot it)

Yummy Christmas lunch.

Our homegrown raspberries, picked by yours truly.

Getting sick of none of my photos working the way I wanted

Deathly Hallows earring!!!!!

Saturday, 20 December 2014

Christmas Wishlists (yes, plural)

I am not usually one for this kind of post, because I don't like shopping and finding things I want encourages shopping! I do create a wishlist every birthday and Christmas, however, because gifts is not one of my love languages and I won't appreciate the thought behind a present I don't like! To save friends and family from having to guess what I'd like, I create a list of a few things I need or am generally interested in (and am never bothered if friends or family don't get me presents - my ideal present would be a heartfelt compliment).

This year's real wishlist consisted of the following:
  • The Mass Effect games
  • Money for my move to Australia
  • Anything related to Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Star Wars or Mass Effect
I know I'm getting the Mass Effect games, but the rest is a mystery - but since I've provided parameters, not too much of one.

However, for reasons that I have now forgotten, I decided I would do a bit of a scrounge around the internet and find some things I'd love to own. These things were mostly inspired by Elizabeth from Delightfully Tacky and Kaylah from The Dainty Squid because I am really digging both their styles right now.

1. Fairview boots by Blowfish Shoes - These are not really in my normal style, but the fold down flap is so cute! They look like such cosy boots. And boots are a kind of footwear I can actually wear.
2. Baggy Cash Stud Lea boots by Palladium - Studs and boots. Kaylah sings Palladium's praises and these look practical but also badass.
3. Eavan Studded Gladiator Sandal from Shopbop - I can't actually wear sandals because of ~problem feet~ but these are really cool. If I could wear them I'd definitely buy them, because they're pretty cheap and I'm moving to a sub-tropical climate.
4. Saint Laurent 10MM Halston Studded Leather Sandals from Luisaviaroma - Whew, that one's a mouthful. These are more than 1200 dollars so even if I could wear them they would be off the table, but a girl can dream.

5. Supernova Twirl Skirt from Modcloth - I have wanted this skirt for about a year now and yet haven't bought it. It's that online shopping thing - what if it doesn't fit? But I might buy it one day so I can look like space.
6. Golden Goddess lipstick from KA'OIR - I don't know if I'd be brave enough to wear gold lipstick and that in itself is a good reason to want it, in my opinion. Imagine wearing it with that space skirt xD
7. Benni Flannel shirt from A&F - I love plaid, yet own only one plaid item, and that was purchased at an op shop after months of agonising over every plaid shirt I found. I'm very picky about it and this one looks so great.
8. Black lipstick from Portland Black Lipstick Co - (Picture from here) - Again with the fear of actually wearing it, but I've been trying to look more...edgy? Punk? I don't know. Something more out there.
9. Expecto Patronum ring from FamilyHouseStampin on Etsy - Can't have a wishlist without a nod to my recently increased desire to own all the geeky things. Have I shown you guys the wand I bought?

Have a look at my Polyvore account to see more of what I'm into. I used to have more sets but Polyvore deleted them randomly one day so I'm slowly building things back up. Do you see a boots, studs, plaid and geeky theme happening there? Because I do.

Link me to your wishlists, people! I want to see all of what people try to guilt others into buying them are longing for over the Christmas season.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Saying Goodbye (OOTD)

One of the first things I did to prepare for my move in February is to go through all of my clothes and decide which would be going with me and which would be staying behind to hold the fort or be donated to other people. I managed to narrow it down so everything fits inside my 50L tramping pack. I have yet to sort the remaining clothes to decide whether I'll sell them/give them away or try to wheedle visiting friends and family members to bring them in their luggage.

In the meantime I'm going to wear the rejects because I do still like them and I won't be seeing them again (or for a long time at least). I get the feeling I'm not going to be able to afford new clothes for quite some time when I get to Brisbane, so I want the clothes I'm taking to feel fresh and interesting for as long as possible, which means not wearing them until I get there.

This galaxy top was bought at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (which was such a cool place) and despite how cool it looks, the fact that it doesn't curve back towards my waist/tummy after going over my boobs makes me look rather shapeless, which is not a look I go for. Right now it's a no-go for taking to Australia, but if we have any warm days in NZ before that it might get a chance to persuade me.

These pants are not on my taking list simply because I have two pairs that I think look cooler, but these are so incredibly comfortable in my current size - which is larger than I've been in possibly my whole life and is causing clothing fit consternation - that I might reconsider.

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

What's Been Up

Hello everyone! I'm alive. I'm terrible at this regular posting lark. I have been taking outfit photos semi-regularly, but then uploading them to the internet (not even editing, just uploading) seems to be so much effort. Does anyone have any tips on how to upload them so it's simple to post them?

Well, obviously quite a lot has happened, not least of which being that I watched my blog's third anniversary go by unheralded. It's hard to believe that I've been struggling to post regularly for three years now.

The rest of my trip was fantastic. I will finish blogging about that, so stay tuned.

Upon my return, I decided within the first week back at work that I couldn't handle staying there any longer and that I was going to leave. So I advertised for, interviewed, chose, negotiated with and finally trained a replacement for my position of Office Admin at work. She's three weeks younger than my mother, which made me nervous about training her. She's great though so there were no problems. I'm still at work, despite having made my decision to leave four months ago. The end is in sight, however.

If you follow my Instagram you will have seen some of my updates as I'm on there fairly often. Here are some other things I've been up to:

Playing Mass Effect 3 for the first time. Oh my gosh, what a game. The Mass Effect trilogy is the undisputed winner in my list of great games, even despite my longstanding love of Morrowind. I cried so much playing ME3 because the characters are so easy to become attached to and I had to make some hard choices (hello choosing between the genocide of two races).

I played Depression Quest, a really fantastic interactive text game where you play a person with depression and have to attempt to make the right choices to lift the fog somewhat. Due to my own successful management of my depression I made the right choices and finished the game with my character feeling hope for the future. I really recommend this for anyone who wants to understand more about how depression affects people, or for anyone who wants to feel they aren't alone in being depressed.

I went to a giant book sale held in some stables (as you do) and bought a bunch of Isaac Asimov books. I have only read one so far but it was great.

I attempted National Novel Writing Month for the fifth time and failed for the third time, but ended with a story that I am feeling hopeful about so don't feel like it was a write off (har har).

The bride-to-be and me.
I went to my very first hens' night! It was awesome. Not a typical hens' night at all. We had a tea party, played charades, went to Lone Star for dessert, went to Scared Scriptless for The Hunger Games-based improv hilarity, then came home and asked deep psychological questions like "what's your favourite colour", the answers of which were meant to be representative of more important things like your view of yourself or your idea of Heaven.

Down at the beach, where I spent about ten minutes over the entire trip.
I went on the last family holiday I can see happening for a while. My family went to Australia for two weeks and I joined them for the second week down on the Gold Coast in Surfer's Paradise on Schoolies Week. Bad idea. Many teenagers. We went to Movie World and Wet N Wild but mostly we just hung out.

The happy couple!

The awesome cards box

Some of my friends
I went to my friend's wedding! It was Doctor Who theme and I was so excited. The dress I intended to wear no longer fit so I was a little more edgy than intended in a leather dress. No complaints here, however. Because my newly married friend is one from my old church there were a lot of my friends at the wedding, many of whom I hadn't seen for months. It was really great getting to hang out with them all and, of course, celebrating the start of my friends' new life together.

To finish this post, I shall let you all know of my recent life-changing decision. I am moving to Brisbane, Australia in February. I, who have never even moved out of my parents' house. I'm terrified and excited in equal measures. Ahh!

Friday, 27 June 2014

Forced hiatus

Hello everyone! Blogger is blocked in China so I will be away until at least the 5th of July. I will see you then!